So…..I’ve had all winter off (and fall. my bad. seriously) and it’s given me a lot of time to think. I’ve already discussed your wardrobe necessities, but now I want to talk about your wardrobe faux pas. Let’s talk about the things we see all too often that never work. Let’s talk about the things you might not notice, but everyone else does.

 Panty Lines

Sometimes the nicest outfit can look like crap because of the V going across your tush. Invest in thongs. If you hate the way they feel, sorry, get used to it. Granny panties are for grandmas, and no one is looking at your grandmas ass anyhow. She is wearing Depends. It’s okay for her to have panty lines. But you, you don’t want those.

Shoes that don’t ‘go’

Ever see that girl who wears the same ugly, plain-Jane shoes for every occasion? Or worse yet, sneakers? Yeah, well…she is a rare breed, but she is out there. Work: black Mary Janes. Dinner: black Mary Janes. Happy hour: black Mary Janes. Et cetera, et cetera. It’s a sad life to be blind from the ankle down. I’ve actually heard someone say, “It doesn’t matter, no one is looking at your shoes anyway.” This is a real affliction that affects hundreds of women everyday. Shoes can make an outfit. You can wear a plain white t-shirt with blue jeans and the shoes will change the tone of the outfit completely. Flip-flops can make the look beachy, colorful shoes can make the look trendy, pumps can make the look sexy. The wrong shoes can distract from the sexiest dress, making the wearer look clueless or slightly disturbed. Never underestimate the power of your footwear.

Bra issues

Sometimes you want to show your strap it, most of the time, you just look sloppy. Buy convertible bras that can be worn multiple ways, and double-sided stylists tape to prevent your strap from showing. Or if you’re apart of “the committee”, you don’t need much support and can wear a strapless bra or even go without on some occasions. Some ladies choose to wear a sports bra with certain outfits, but beware, most sports bras don’t have individual cups and will give you uniboob. Take a good look at your outfit in the mirror with enough lighting to determine if your bra is visible through your shirt. Spillage isn’t sexy, just like a V going across your butt is a distraction, the same goes for your boobs. If your bra is cutting your boobs into a top and bottom half, the bra doesn’t fit. Get measured by a professional bra-fitter and try on different bra styles. Not every style will fit the same, even in the same size or from the same brand. A good fitting bra will lift and separate the girls, instantly making you look taller and slimmer. And if you are actually trying to show your bra off under your clothes (which I don’t recommend), let it be something lacey and pretty, but not vulgar.

Bad fit

There is no redeeming an ill-fitting piece of clothing. A bad fit will always make you look fat. Too long pants will look sloppy, and you’ll run the risk of stepping on your pants. Too short pants look as if you’re awaiting a flood, or borrowing someone else’s pants. Whether it’s too big, and it’s hanging loose around your body, or it’s too tight, and it’s creating folds in your 24 inch waist, a bad fit will ensure an undesirable look.

Too Much

Too much makeup. Too much animal print. Too much skin. Too much weave. Too tight. Too much spray tan. Too much t&a.  Whatever it is. Stop doing TOO MUCH. There is beauty in simplicity. There is sophistication in being a natural woman. No one is asking you to stop showering, to stop brushing your teeth, that’s not what natural beauty is all about, and those who think so are just plain wrong. Natural beauty is about embracing your God given features and playing them up. The grass always looks greener on the other side; ladies with straight hair want full, bouncy curls, and ladies with curly hair want bone straight strands. But hair always looks it’s very best when you keep it along the lines nature intended. Ever see a woman with caked on make-up going about her business? Don’t you feel bad for her? Don’t you wonder if she has a friend, or a family member who would just say, “STOP, you’re doing too damn much!” Ever see a girl inappropriately showing so much skin that you wonder if she’s being paid to be there? Don’t be this girl. Resist your inner Snooki.

There are many other looks that us girls should reject, let me know whats on your list.

But I’m finally back, with a new hard drive! (Don’t forget to back-up!) I haven’t just upgraded my hardware, I’ve upgraded my foot wear. This week I got my first pair of Nike+ sneakers. Simply running is no longer enough. In the year 2011, we track our runs distance, pace, time and calories burned via a small chip inside of our sneaker. We then download the information to the internet where we can see progress and send the information to our friends via Twitter and Facebook to remind them of how fat and lazy they are. Isn’t technology amazing? The sensor in my sneaker sends the information to my iPod while I run, and a voice periodically comes on over my music to let me know how I’m doing. After my iPod sends the information to the Nike+ website, I can then set goals and see how I’m measuring up. Just as I’m loving my new toy, I find out about a new app; Nike+ GPS. With the GPS app I can link Nike+ to my iPhone and it will map the route I ran, or let me play a game of tag with friends. Once the game of tag is initiated, the person who runs the shortest distance is ‘it’ and it’s broadcast via the Nike+ site. Obviously not for the faint of heart or easily embarrassed. For now, I’m going to follow one of the pre-set schedules to go from winter couch potato to spring athlete-in-training.

Aside from all of this technology, my new sneakers are amazing. They have the perfect amount of cushion to take the shock off of my knees, plus they’re cute. I don’t really mind looking like a walking Nike ad if the outfit is cute. I don’t know about anyone else, but I like having pretty workout gear. If the outfit looks right, you just might wear it more often, and since you’re all dressed up for a run, you might as well go running! A dirty white tee and some cut off sweats might cut it over at Lucille Roberts, but no one’s going to wear that on the street. When I was a little girl, I had this Barbie workout album called “Looking Good, Feeling Great”. Yes, a vinyl record. The kind that plays with a needle. Anyway, it’s good to remember that those two things go hand in hand. When you look good, you feel great. So remember who you’re working out for. You’re not just trying to impress an ex-lover, you’re not just trying to make those bitches at the high-school reunion jealous, you’re not just trying to fit into your old bikini for summer, you’re trying to do ALL of those things! And those things will make you feel GREAT! Barbie has taught several generations of women that “Looking Good” and “Feeling Great” go hand in hand. But the power is in your hands, and it’s also in the NIke+ sneaker. Just do it.

Here are a few of my favorite looks.

Pictures courtesy of Chanel.com

Sheen was joined by his assistant Rick Calamaro, Simon Rex (of MTV VJ/Gay Porn fame) and Goddess/Girlfriend/Marijuana Model? Natalie “Natty Baby” Kenly. The channel attracted approximately 80,000 viewers before the show even premiered, and approximately 150,000 viewers at its peak, but the number dropped as the hour continued. Sheen wore a black t-shirt with a large, green dollar sign on it, because he is money in the bank. Sheen drank from a bottle of juice and joked how the bottle was mysteriously missing it’s label as he had not been contacted about advertising.

Segments on the hour long show included people who wish they were Sheen, people who Sheen’s wishes he were (only for 10 minutes) and other assorted tomfoolerly.

Sheen commented throughout with many of his famous catchphrases and ened the show with an original poem.

I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that he didn’t snort coke off of the goddesses ass or drink the blood of a tiger, but this is the best trainwreck to happen in a very long time, so I will be tuning in for the next episode. It’s nice to see Sheen in a format where he can express himself without the editing of the media. Sheen is the hottest thing around (this week) and he knows it, more power to him. We are enjoying every moment of the ride, I just pray he’s wearing a seatbelt, a helmut and comes to a safe stop without crashing. Keep Winning, Mr. Sheen.

Check out photos of my favorite show moments. Images courtesy of Ustream.

• Black Pumps
You can wear these with a business suit, sexy jeans or nothing at all. Make sure they fit well and please be able to walk in them. Girls do a sad lunge-walk when their heels aren’t fitting properly. The results may be ankle, foot and back problems, so don’t be afraid to splurge on the right pair.

• Diamond Stud Earrings
Simple. Classy. Can be worn every day for years. I like these in white gold. Choose from the smallest size to obnoxiously huge bling.

• Silver Hoop Earrings
These come in many sizes and various prices. Every woman can find a size to fit her style, her face shape and her wallet.

• Ballet Flats
These shoes provide a nice relief from your heels. They experienced a huge resurgence a few years ago, but this style is classic and always chic.

• Black Leather Bag
Look for a good bag that can be carried everywhere. You want a bag that will make you look put-together for work, but will look equally good with jeans over the weekend.

• Sunglasses
Squinting leads to crows feet, wear sunglasses. Added bonus: eliminates the need for eye make-up. A pair of shades and lip-gloss is a made-up face!

• Watch
Sure you look at your iPhone when you want to know what time it is, but your wrist is naked during the daytime without a watch.

• Silk Scarf
A beautiful silk scarf can be worn various ways: on a purse, as a hair accessory, around your neck, as a belt, and any other way you want.

• French Purse
My favorite wallet for a woman is a French purse. This specific type of wallet will have compartments for cards, cash and coins. Many designers will make French purses to match their bags as well.

• Umbrella
Spring is on the way, and that means rain. Keep yourself and all of your accessories dry with this very necessary accessory.

Every woman needs the basics: wardrobe essentials. These are the items that any good wardrobe is built around. These items are trend-proof, and work for many occasions. Buy quality items and treat them with care, because they’re in it for the long haul. These items include:

• White Dress Shirt
My favorite is the Brooks Brothers non-iron classic fit. Even when you dress it down, you’re still chic.

• Little Black Dress
Originally designed in the 1920’s by Coco Chanel. You decide how “little” you want your dress to be, but the idea is to have a dress versatile enough to take you from cocktail hour to the club, depending on the accessories.

• Trench Coat
Iconic. Will turn the average hood rat into Audrey Hepburn. Burberry is the standard. Buy in a classic khaki color.

• Black Dress Pants
Black is flattering on all figures and black goes with everything. Worn with a crease, they convey a chic, professional look.

• Pencil Skirt
Originally designed by Christian Dior in the late 1940’s, this skirt is sometimes referred to as an H-line skirt. Sexier than Dior’s A-line skirt, this works best with high heels.

• Day Dress
While the term “day dress” may be a bit dated, it provides a contrast to the Little Black Dress or an Evening Gown. The day dress can be worn to work and when accessorized appropriately, will take you into the evening as well. Diane von Fürstenberg’s wrap dress is a classic style that is flattering on all sizes.

• Cashmere Cardigan
Luxurious cashmere. This wool is soft and light yet provides the right amount of insulation to keep you cozy. Find one that complements the colors in your wardrobe and you can throw it on over anything. Keep it feminine though, you don’t want to wind up looking like Mr. Rogers, awesome as he was.

• Jeans
When it comes to jeans, find a dark wash with a straight leg. If you’re not wearing 7 For All Mankind, you’re losing. These jeans are experts at making an ass look fabulous.

•Black Blazer
You can dress this piece up or down. It may work with your A-Line skirt for work, or take your white t-shirt and jeans from sloppy to grown and sexy.

•Plain White T-shirt
It doesn’t get much more basic than this. Sure, you can grab a pack of these at your local drug store, but for a more put together look choose one in pima cotton. V-neck’s are more flattering on ladies with larger lady lumps.

These items are just the basics, once you’ve got these covered you can shift focus to unique pieces and accessories that express your individuality. Remember, don’t be afraid to splurge on these pieces because they’re the ones you’ll be coming back to, season after season, year after year.

Click here to read more about the Google Laptop